My mother and my cousin, both fans, too, drove up to see her speak in Toronto, as part of the Luminato Festival. We had seen Joyce speak several years ago at the University at Buffalo, and while that was a great night, it was nothing like the personal encounter with the writer we were fortunate enough to have tonight. With the publication of her latest novel, a memoir on the death of her long-time husband, "A Widow's Story," Joyce sat down for a conversation with another writer regarding her work for about an hour and a half. The look, first hand, into this uncanny writer's life and writing in the face of her recent tragedy was so touching and precious. Hearing this literary giant relate "fantasies" of re-reading the classics when older or sick, something I from time to time think about and share, was greatly humanizing and representative of the huge talent Oates is.
One woman fortunate enough to get to ask a question during the Q&A asked Joyce how she is able to connect with and portray such brutally honest "dark sides" to her characters. Somewhat taken aback, Joyce Carol Oates answered by stating that she empathized with humanity-- a humanity which is never entirely, for lack of a better word, good or evil. And that response is so very indicative of what Oates' work is. While great tragedy and horrific situation loom over much of her fiction, it is her understanding of all which is the human condition-- her understanding and her empathy-- that keeps her so far above the rest of the literary world.
Afterwards, she stayed for a book signing. My mother went first, and asked if she had a favorite among her books. At this time, Joyce responded, it was "A Widow's Story," as that is so close to her heart. When I got up there, and two of my books (one, "The Falls" signed), I told her that we had driven up from Buffalo. She asked how long the drive was, almost two hours. And she said she liked my necktie, a floral arrangement of blue and red and pink roses on a blue background. At this point, my cousin mentioned my recent invitation to the White House for this year's LGBT Pride reception, and if she had any advice for me, as she herself had recently received an honor at the White House from the President. Joyce asked what the occasion was, and I told her an LGBT Pride Month Reception, to which she smiled and nodded, and told me it was nice to meet me.
I could not have been more ecstatic.
